Charlie and I got engaged at the top of the Rockerfella Center on December 4th 2018, a week after we found out we were expecting a baby. This wasn’t exactly planned and Charlie almost postponed the engagement but much to my delight he didn’t. He’d planned to propose on our holiday to New York and we had already decided to try for a baby. I expected it might take a while but we were very lucky and it happened the first month of trying.
Before the proposal I didn’t think I’d book my wedding straight away, the idea of planning a wedding didn’t excite me but I was wrong. Once I had that ring on my finger the ball started rolling and quickly. 3 months later we were on a plane to Mallorca to view a beautiful venue I had my heart set on. It was even more perfect than I could ever of imagined. It has the gorgeous mountain backdrop, aswell as a sea view and a beautiful rustic aisle surrounded by wild flowers and trees that I’d be walking down with my dad. It was perfect and we booked our wedding for May 29th 2020.
One reason for us booking the wedding so quickly was because I thought that if we didn’t do it now then we may never get round to it, with a baby on the way and the hope of having another one in a couple of years, we just wanted to get it booked. I’d planned to do most of my wedding planning at the end of my pregnancy when I’d have my feet up and more time on my hands, but Rudie came along 8 weeks early, so I’ve been wedding planning with a baby … and for anyone thinking about doing the same, just giving you a heads up, it isn’t easy!
Wedding planning can be really fun and exciting but I found even the best bits pretty stressful. Pinterest and Instagram are fantastic sources for wedding inspiration but also really annoying because just when you have finally decided on a theme you like, you see something else that takes your fancy. I began overthinking every little detail, for example napkin folds. Have you ever googled napkin folds? Let me tell you there are about a zillion different ways to fold a napkin, then try and imagine it on a plate, oh wait do I want it on the plate or next to the plate? In the wine glass? Or actually why not knot the napkin? Should I incorporate the menu with the napkin fold or would I like a name place with it? And what colour should the napkin be? You get my drift. There’s so many choices available it’s hard to make decisions (or even think clearly with a baby) so I have actually found a lot of the wedding planning overwhelming. It has also made me realise something I never knew about myself, I’m actually quite a perfectionist.
Just as all the decisions were finally made and everything was in place for our special day, Corona Virus appeared from nowhere. At first I wasn’t too worried, but things rapidly got much worse. Four weeks ago Italy went into lockdown. Watching the news unfold was both heartbreaking and scary, but also a huge reality check as to how close and real this pandemic was. I found myself on the phone to my dad crying my eyes out after hearing him say ‘you need to realise Rose that it may not be able to happen’. I actually spent most of that day crying, it all just hit me. I’d spent so many sleepless nights stressing about the tiny details of our big day, thinking it would all be worth it very soon, knowing that all our family and dearest friends would be together, in one place, on the island to celebrate with us. But now maybe this wasn’t going to be able to happen.
Although we have wedding insurance a global pandemic voids any cover so I called my wedding planner so see what options we had. She was reassuring and advised us to hold on and see how things play out over the next few weeks but also confirmed that postponing could be an option if our hands were forced. If we did have to cancel or postpone, what would happen to all of our guests booking? I began to worry and felt so guilty about the inconvenience it would cause for everybody. Would it ever be the same? Would our 140 guests still want to come? At that point I still had a tiny bit of hope, 11 weeks is nearly 3 months and that sounds quite far away.
The same day I got a call that my dress had arrived from South Africa. Knowing that lockdown would be imminent, I went with my mum the following day. We were both emotional and not in the happy way you’d expect when you finally get to try on the dress of your dreams after waiting months for it to be made to fit you perfectly. Sadly the experience was over shadowed with the uncertainty of whether the wedding would be able to go ahead. The good news is I absolutely adore my dress. I was so nervous to it see it because I hade made lots of small changes including the colour but it’s absolutely perfect. It’s just a shame that I won’t be wearing it this year and it’ll have to stay in the shop for another year.
Yes, we have had to postpone our wedding. It soon became apparent that the global chaos going on around us was far more important than our wedding. Spain went into lockdown and shortly after so did the UK. The health and safety of others needed to take priority over our special day. So after lots of tears, conversations and emails back and forth we made the decision to postpone to 2021 (exact date tbc). At first we thought about pushing it back to later this year but with this pandemic having no end in sight, it seemed safer for everyone to wait until next year.
The last few weeks I felt so anxious with everything up in the air, but now the decision has been made I can relax and look forward to next year. Our guests have been so understanding and I’ve received so many wonderful words of encouragement and beautiful flowers to my door. After feeling so downhearted, we now have something to look forward to once this pandemic is over and the wedding will be more special than ever. Ultimately the most important thing is that all of our friends and family will get through this horrible time safely and hopefully be able to join us for an even bigger and better celebration.
I always wondered if Rudie would walk down the aisle, as the wedding was due to be a week before his first birthday. Now I know he most definitely will, he’s going to be the cutest page boy ever. A moment I can’t wait for.